Before I begin I need to make clear that what you are about to read is 100% true. It really happened to me and I did not make this up. Although I wish I had because it was honestly the most terrifying moment in my life thus far. So let's begin the tale...
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Our story begins on a delightful day in May 2011. I had recently graduated from La Salle University and was feeling pretty good about myself and the world in general. One of my best friends, Nikki, and I were going into New York City for the night to attend a Lady Gaga CD release party.
Since we were going into the city, I decided to wake up early and put curlers in my hair so I would look fabulous for the night. I showered, put on a robe and put in my curlers. The curlers were multicolored and complimented my white robe very well. Since I had put the curlers in before I got changed, I had to leave the robe on or they would loosen #FirstWorldProblems
I moseyed on down to the kitchen and started making lunch. At 11am I went to the door to get the mail. I didn't get anything so I was dissappointed. I went back to making my lunch.
Then, I heard the doorbell ring and wondered who it could be. My mom and brothers were at work/school so it couldn't be anyone for them. I opened the front door, but no one was there.
"Strange," I thought to myself as I closed the door.
I went back to the family room and sat down at the home computer. I put Lady Gaga's new CD on full blast as I ate my lunch. It was really turning out to be a spectacular day so far.
The way my family room is set up makes it impossible to see anyone entering the kitchen while seated at the computer.
After I finished eating I stayed sitting at the computer doing some Facebooking, Tweeting and whatever else I felt like doing.
All of a sudden, I saw some movement out of the corner of my eye to my right. Figuring it was just my eyes playing tricks on me, since I was alone in the house, I didn't bother looking.
I saw some movement again so I turned my head
and a little old woman was standing next to me.
(The next part of the story takes place in the span of 2 minutes)
I stared in horror and disbelief at the woman standing next to me. She had to be at least 80 years old and was wearing a blue tracksuit. I jumped out of my chair, turned off the speakers and started screaming
"WHO ARE YOU!? WHAT DO YOU WANT!? WHY ARE YOU HERE!?"
And the woman just stared at me with the most chilling blank stare I've ever seen in my life. Not to mention she looked like the old witch lady from the movie Drag Me To Hell so I immediately thought I was going to die. By the way this is the woman from the movie:
Obviously the woman didn't have any strange skin lesions or funky eyes but besides that, they look exactly the same. Even my Mom says its unnerving how similar they look.
I repeated my questions over and over again trying to get some answers from this stranger in my house. At one point she started speaking in a different language that sounded vaguely Russian (which the old lady from the movie also does) and I had no idea what was doing on.
Then it dawned on me.
She wasn't answering my questions because she didn't know the answers. She had to have something like Alzheimer's or Dementia. You always hear stories about people with these unfortunate illnesses escaping and going places they shouldn't be, but this takes the cake.
I took a couple breaths and knew I had to act fast. There was no telling how sick this woman was and if she was going to hurt me or herself in her confusion. Putting on the nicest smile possible I said to the woman, "Would you like to sit in the front room with me?"
Amazingly she said "Yes" and we walked into the living room which is the first room you enter in my house after coming through the front door. I figured this would give me the best possible escape route if something bad happened.
We walked into the living room and the front door was wide open. Obviously that's how she got in. I went to open our glass door, which was still closed, to call the police on the porch just to put some space between me and the invader. I pushed the door with my shoulder but it didn't budge. I looked down and the door was locked! We don't usually lock that door so I was confused as to how it could be locked and how she could have gotten in in the first place.
I realized that when I answered the door before, I must not have closed it properly and inadvertently left our home open to old people invasions. The old lady must have locked the glass door behind her when she came in because if it had been locked to begin with, she wouldn't have been able to enter.
People with degenerative diseases like Alzheimer's can sometimes show moments of clarity and remember things like how to tie shoes again or how to lock doors, so this only solidified that the old lady didn't mean any harm, she just didn't know where she was
The woman sat on my Mom's Victorian couch and put a blanket over her legs like she owned the place.
I knew the next step was to call the police but should I call 911 or the non-emergency number? The woman seemed non-threatening as she babbled in English/whatever language else she was speaking so I decided on non-emergency.
Because of the adrenaline racing through my body, my hands were shaking like I've never experienced as I dialed 272-2222. I was glad Cranford picked such an easy number for non-emergencies.
The phone rang and all of a sudden I started sobbing. Crying like there was no tomorrow. I must have been coming off the adrenaline from fight-or-flight. I was more terrified in that moment than when this ordeal started.
I was barely able to communicate with the woman on the other end of the line. This is how our conversation went:
"Hello, Cranford non-emergency service"
"Hi.Um. I'm fine, even though I'm crying right now, I promise, but, um, an old lady just walked into my house and really scared me"
"Okay...Do you know this woman? Who is it?"
"I have no idea I've never seen her before I don't know where she came from or how she got into the house"
"What is her name?"
"I don't know. I have no clue who she is. I'm just got really scared and didn't know what else to do"
"What is the old woman doing?"
"She's just sitting on my couch reading a book (which she had picked up off the coffee table)"
"Okay miss we'll send an officer over. Just stay on the line with me until he gets there."
The woman took my address and name and told me it would just be another minute. She also must have remembered it was a school day and figured I was some kid cutting class so she asked,
"Wait a minute, how old are you?"
And, completely embarrassed, I managed to say, "...21" through my choked back tears.
The embarrassment I felt while asking that question didn't hold a candle to the embarrassment I was about to feel as the officer pulled into my driveway. I hung up the phone and walked onto my porch, only to remember I was still in my robe and hair curlers.
The officer was very professional and he didn't seem to be laughing at the way I looked but who knows what was going on in his head.
The officer came inside and began talking to the old lady who was now braiding the fringe on the blanket she held. He tried asking her questions but he wasn't able to get any answers either. He told me that there would be an ambulance on the way, which was standard procedure in calls about the elderly. And I at least knew she would make it to a hospital where hopefully they could figure out who she was and how the hell she got to my house. Like, of all the houses on the block, she picks mine. Ugh, back to the story.
As the officer is talking with dispatch, a little blue car pulls up in my driveway. I think "Great! Who the hell is this? What the heck is going on now?!"
A short woman in nursing scrubs gets out of the car and walks up to my front door. I met her out on the porch and the nurse says, in a Russian accent "Hello I'm looking for an old lady"
I said, completely deadpan, "There's an old lady in my living room"
I let the nurse in, because the cop was there and honestly how many nurses are looking for old people in my neighborhood on any given day. They had to be connected.
The old woman actually recognized the nurse and put up a small struggle as the nurse tries to take her back to the car.
The police officer followed them out as the ambulance pulled up. The nurse, ambulance people and police officer all talked on my driveway checking the nurse's credentials and her side of the story making sure that she actually was in charge of caring for this wayward woman.
I stayed inside not wanting anyone else to see me in my robe and curlers. I had stopped crying at this point too so that was good. I saw the old lady get into the nurse's car and drive away. The cop and ambulance left too.
I had to tell somebody what happened. So I did what any grown woman would do. I called my Mom.
I knew she was at work but she would have to call back eventually. To my surprise she picked up. I started crying again as I retold the story as I was still pretty shaken up about the whole thing. My Mom's emotions went from worry, to intrigued, to hilariously amused by my story.
I was not amused.
She was glad I was okay and that this had all been taken care of. I described the woman to my Mom and she realized it was actually one of our neighbors. The old lady has lived in a house around the block for a very long time and now lives with one of her kids' families there. My house was the first house built on the block and she knew the people who lived in it before us. Another moment of clarity must have inspired her to come to my house I guess.
The next day I was sitting in the living room with my Mom and she decides to be funny.
She goes "Hey look there's your old lady friend outside"
I said "You're hilarious, thanks."
"No she's really out there, look"
So I looked and sure enough there's the old girl herself strolling around the block with a new nurse. Obviously the other one got fired. It was a totally normal sight until the old lady stopped at the bottom of my driveway and looked right up at me through the window. I panicked and sat back down. That was enough old lady interaction for a lifetime thank you very much!
The End
To say that day was stressful would be an understatement. I was uneasy about being alone in the house for the rest of the summer.
I became terrified of our ice maker because it makes really loud noises when it drops the ice into the tray in the freezer and it sounds like someone walking through the kitchen.
I texted my Mom that I got scared by it the first time it happened and she didn't respond with "oh I'm sorry you're so scared" or "it'll be okay you're just on edge from what happened"
No.
She responded with "LOL".
Capitalized L-O-freaking-L. My own mother was mocking me. I gave her a short lesson in text etiquette when she came back from work that day and made it clear that LOL-ing me when I'm having a stressful moment is NOT the appropriate response. Nor does LOL mean "lots of love".
Retelling this story to my family and friends was probably the most rewarding part of all of this. No one expects the story to take the turn that it did and that's what makes reality so much better than fiction.
I hope everyone liked this post and if I can think of other crazy stories from my past I'll be sure to tell them
xoxo
Becca
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